Case Study on the Decision Making of Single Men to Marry Single-Parent Woman

Article history: Marriage is a developmental task for individuals in the early adult phase. Normatively for a single man will choose a spouse as a single woman. This research aims to examine the decision-making of single men to marry single-parent women. This research uses a qualitative method with a case study approach. Data collection was carried out by semi-structured interviews using Miles and Huberman model data analysis techniques, namely the interactive model. The credibility of this research uses triangulation of sources, namely using the closest person to the informant to obtain valid data. There are several findings in the study, the first regarding the criteria of a partner, the second consideration before marriage, the third considers single-parent women as great women, and the fourth is responsibility. This is an essential point as an excuse for single men to marry single-parent women. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.


INTRODUCTION
In human life, people will be faced with various forms of choices that require humans to choose one of the various options that are considered the best. The process of determining something is called decision making, one of which is the decision to marry.
The marriage relationship can unite husband and wife in a bond expected to build a happy household. Marriage is an essential step in a person's life that needs to be considered when making that decision (Latifah & Wahyuni, 2019).
According to Law Number 1 of 1974, Article 1 concerning marriage, it defines marriage as an inner and outer bond between a man and woman as husband and wife to form a happy and eternal family or household based on the one and only God. Islam views marriage as something sacred because, by marrying, Muslims have carried out worship to Allah and followed the sunnah of the Prophet, which is based on sincerity, responsibility, and obeying the provisions that must be implemented (Agustina, 2011).
Men who are getting married should choose a partner based on four reasons as narrated by Al-Jamaah, namely selecting a wife for the following four reasons: 1) Her wealth, 2) Her offspring, 3) Her beauty, and 4) Her religion (Ahmad, 2009). The existence of similarity and compatibility is also why individuals decide to get married. The more similarities in age, physique, personality, attitude, and social class, the stronger the individual is to bring the relationship to the level of marriage (Wongso, 2014).
Soul mate is the secret of God, but as his servants, we also must determine the criteria for the desired partner but cannot be separated from religious rules.
One of the criteria for choosing a good wife in Islam is a woman who is still a virgin because a woman who is still a virgin is sweeter in speech, has more offspring, is less likely to commit treason against her husband, receives fewer gifts, and is friendlier when invited to jokes. (Mahmud & Thoif, 2016). However, some cases show that single men choose partners who have been married before and even have children from previous marriages or women as single parents. Based on the statement above, this paper is intended to provide an overview of decisionmaking for single men who choose to marry single-parent women.

THEORITICAL FRAMEWORK
Decision-making results from problem-solving, answering a question, selecting one alternative from the various options, and the end of the thought process regarding the problem at hand. There are two objectives of decision-making. The first is if the decision taken is related to other issues, and the second is that the chosen decision can solve two or more problems simultaneously (Lipursari, 2013). Decision-making is a process that must be passed and considered to get something when faced with the choice to determine future conditions (Praba & Dewi, 2014).
Robbins (Surya & Hastaning, 2015) defines decision making as a choice of two or more alternatives that arise because of a mismatch between the current problem and the desired state, thus requiring consideration, interpretation, and evaluation to make alternatives. Decision-making is something that every individual will pass in the face of a choice or problem to meet the needs of life. Therefore, every individual must make the right decisions for their life. Decision-making can start from the simplest things too complex, such as choosing clothes, food menus, choosing friends, choosing a career, and choosing a potential life partner (Peilouw & Nursalim, 2013).
Atmosudirjo (in Markus, 2014) argues that decision-making dimensions are consideration, courage, and responsibility. Reflection is when individuals compare their weaknesses and strengths in solving informationseeking problems and determining the most suitable decision alternatives. The dimension of courage is needed to express opinions or choices that have been made. Individuals need the courage to make decisions following the decisions that have been previously chosen. Furthermore, the individual must be responsible for himself, and others related to the decision. Individuals have created and made decisions and must be accountable for the decisions they have chosen.
Based on the description above, the researcher concludes that the aspects that influence the decision-making of single men to marry single-parent women consist of aspects of consideration, courage, and responsibility. Individuals will make decisions by the problems being faced and see the positive and negative sides of the choice. After that, the individual will be responsible for the decisions that have been chosen

RESEARCH METHODOLOGY
The problem in this research is decision making, while the research method uses a qualitative method with a case study approach. This method is considered suitable to examine how single men make decisions to marry singleparent women. The data collection technique used is a semi-structured interview technique using data collection tools such as cellphones to record voices and notebooks to record findings in the field.
After collecting the data, the researcher selects and simplifies the data and presents the data in a table (verbatim), and concludes the data that has been obtained.

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
Based on the explanation above, the researcher conducted interviews with two informants who met the criteria in this study, namely single men who chose to marry single-parent women. The first informant (RS) is 40 years old, and the second informant (AM) is 30 years old. Based on the data obtained, five important points underlie the decision-making of single men to marry single-parent women, including partner criteria, considerations before marriage, belief in marrying single-parent women, parental responses, and responsibilities after choosing the decision.
In this study, two primary informants, namely RS and AM, were single men who decided to marry a singleparent woman. Both informants had considerations before deciding to get married. This is by the theory of research on decision making, which says that decision making is an effort made by individuals in choosing with various considerations (Aditya & Noviana, 2019).
Both RS and AM informants each have different partner criteria. RS has criteria for a partner who has characteristics like his mother, and AM wants a partner who has good character and can respect their parents. The RS informant wants a partner who has traits like his mother because RS is very close to his mother until now, while AM wants a partner who can respect their parents because AM likes polite women. None of the two informants felt that they did not match the women of their choice; instead, RS and AM convinced their parents that their chosen partner was a good woman and could build a household together, even though their parents disagreed with their choice to marry at first. Single parent woman. Individuals who choose a partner are based on a partner who can meet their needs (Jayanti & Masykur, 2015).
Decision-making is a choice to determine future conditions, and to make these decisions; individuals must go through various considerations from themselves and others. The two informants in this study had reviews from their respective parents where parents from the hospital disagreed with the informant's decision because they felt that there were still other women to be wives. Meanwhile, AM's parents disagreed with AM's decision because they were worried that AM would not treat their children fairly in the future (Praba & Dewi, 2014).
Both informants have the same belief to marry a single-parent woman. Based on the results of the interviews, it can be concluded that the three informants consider single-parent women as great and strong women because they can take care of their children alone without the help of their husbands. This is the same as research on single-parent women who must be able to act as mothers and fathers to raise and earn a living and educate their children alone without the help of their husbands (Yuyu et al., 2015). Both informants are responsible for the chosen decision; the informant has carried out his duties as a good father and husband and does not discriminate between his biological child and the wife's next child in determining a decision based on the ability to take responsibility and feel comfortable with the decisions taken (Fahmi, 2014). Individuals getting married are ready to bear various risks and consequences that will arise in the household, such as family economic financing, health costs, and responsibilities in educating children (Fransisca & Sri, 2014).
Based on the research data results, it can be concluded that the RS and AM informants decided to marry a single-parent woman based on the considerations of both parents and personal informants. The results of the data have been summarized as follows: "Kriteria gitu jane engga lah Nah iyaa, cuma kalau kalau ini kan biasanya mendambakan biasanya sosoknya tuh saya cenderung ke ibu gitu ya ke ibu saya, engga jadi lebih ke ibu saya, ya sifatnya apa gitu cenderungnya kesitu. Tapi kan ini tok mba ga jadi patokan, Iyaa, ya kaya gitu soalnya saya hidupnya sama ibu sih dari kecil, ya ada beberapa, sedikit tapi" (RS) RS said that it does not have unique criteria for wives but wants a wife who has characteristics like her mother but does not have to be unique criteria "Pertimbangannya waktu itu saya kan gini, saya usia ya udah lewat Terus juga bukan karena hanya sekedar seneng atau apa bukan Ya kaya gitu aja, intinya kaya gitu bukan karena sekedar seneng, intinya ya buat bantu juga, Ada sih kadang ibu, dari keluarga saya mah nanya apa ngga ada yang lain gitu Tapi udah itu jalannya yaudah mantep tek putusin ya udah Alhamdulillah bisa sampai menikah" (RS) RS considers his marriage based on three things, first because he is not young anymore, second because he wants to be in a relationship not only for fun and helping his wife's economy; and third, because of the response of his parents and family.
"Yakin saya intinya gini, dia hidup sendiri Menghidupi dua anak sama satu ibu gitu aja Berarti kan perempuan hebat kalau gitu, Ya iyaa, ya karena itu" (RS) RS considers his wife a great woman because she is a hard worker, able to take care of her two children, and an elderly mother without the help of her husband.
"Ya udah, sudah saya pertimbangkan Ya siap, walaupun keadaanya kesini jadi gimana ya, ya udah tek perhitungkan kemarin-kemarin, resikonya sudah saya pertimbangkan" (RS) RS has considered all the risks and prepared himself to get married and become a husband and father figure for his wife and children.
The interview was also conducted on AM, a single man who chooses to marry a single-parent woman.
"Kalau saya sih pasti punya orang yang pasti akhlaknya baik dan yang terpenting dia bisa berbakti kepada orang tua saya, kalau orang tua saya bisa, jelas orang tuanya bisa, dan orang yang mau menerima saya apa adanya" (RS) The criteria for AM's wife are women who have good morals and can be devoted to their parents, and accept themselves as they are.
"Yang membuat saya yakin adalah karena dia mencintai saya dan saya pikir dia bisa hidup sederhana karena mendengar cerita dari masa lalunya, saya menggunakannya sebagai pelajaran karena saya khawatir saya tidak akan bisa menghasilkan cukup uang di masa lalu. masa depan. Intinya, dia wanita yang kuat dan bisa mandiri karena bisa mendidik anak-anaknya dengan baik." (AM) AM considers that his wife is a great and independent woman because of her bad past and can educate her children alone without the help of her husband

CONCLUSION
The decision taken by the two informants is the best because it has gone through several considerations, both from oneself, parents, family, and partners. After going through several reviews, I finally decided to marry a singleparent woman and was more confident. Both informants considered single-parent women great women because they could take care of and raise children alone without a husband figure. After making the decision that has been chosen, the informant must be brave and take responsibility for his decision.
Suggestions for developing this research are that further researchers can use qualitative methods properly and extend this research by using better sources of reference for further researchers and looking for more specific informants to obtain data results, which is more valid.